Vacancy for a motivated and responsible individual to keep watch for the Lord's return. Immediate start; duration unknown. Remuneration will be discussed on application but is expected to include eternal reward.
The ideal candidate will have previous experience of divine-human interactions and a proven track record of staying awake on the job. A good singing voice is desirable but not required. Training will be given in God-recognition as needed. A head for heights is essential, as daily shifts will be undertaken on a high watchtower.
Duties include watching and listening for any signs of the Anointed One, relaying words from God to others as appropriate, and compiling accurate reports of any supernatural occurrences observed during your shift. Should the return of the Lord take place, a joyful song is mandatory, although tunefulness will depend entirely on the candidate's musical ability.
All interested candidates should apply online with CV and cover letter stating relevant experience. Applicants must hold a current Watchman Guild Licence and undergo a background security check. Appointments will be made after angelic review, and successful applicants will be notified in due course.
I will take my stand at my watchpost
and station myself on the tower,
and look out to see what he will say to me,
and what I will answer concerning my complaint.
How beautiful upon the mountains
are the feet of him who brings good news,
who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness,
who publishes salvation,
who says to Zion, “Your God reigns.”
The voice of your watchmen—they lift up their voice;
together they sing for joy;
for eye to eye they see
the return of the Lord to Zion.