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Proclaiming

"Yea and verily, I proclaim unto thee...

Oh, hang on, what century is it on Earth these days?  The 21st?

Dang it, I forgot the iPhone.  Can you understand me if I don't use Twitter?

OK, let's try this again.  Ummm...

Hey, right, you're something special, y'know?  And the Big Man is, like, right here with you?

Nononono, don't cry!  What did I say wrong?  I haven't even got to the difficult bit yet.  Seriously.  Here, have a tissue and pull yourself together.

OK, now God's really happy with you, got it?  Hold that thought.  And behold... no, sorry, sorry...

And, like, you're gonna have a baby, right?  Yeah, hang onto that tissue, I've got another one if you need it.

Yup, a baby.  Little boy.  He's gonna be awesome, trust me on that.  He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High... oh, don't worry, I'll send you a Facebook message with all that later.

No, I know you haven't been sleeping around.  Did I say you had?  This is, like, a proper God thing, right?  Holy Spirit and all that.  Slightly outside the scope of those Personal Social Sexual Hygiene Lifeskills Education lessons or whatever they call them these days.  Citizenship, is it?  Well, that's shorter, I suppose.

Anyhow, my point is, this is more Personal Supernatural Holiness Education, right?  This kid is, like, actually the Son of God.  No messing.

And that cousin of your mum's?  The one who always thought she couldn't have kids?  Yeah, she's preggers, too.  Maybe you two could chat.

There's a good girl.  I knew you'd come around to the idea.  One more tissue?  All right, I've gotta fly, then.  Text me if you need to, 'K?  Byeeee!"

In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin's name was Mary.  And he came to her and said, “Greetings, O favoured one, the Lord is with you!”
Luke 1:26-28

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