Skip to main content

Be appreciative. Be generous. Be encouraging.

Be appreciative

It had been one of those days where I felt I was dashing around a lot for very little reward.  Tidying, vacuuming, chivvying the kids around - and now I was in the kitchen starting on dinner while the rest of the family was watching TV.  I'd just finished pummeling the pizza dough into submission when Theo wandered into the kitchen.  He looked at the beige blob in the mixing bowl and exclaimed, "Wow, that's amazing Mum!  You made that!"  A smile broke over my face, and I realised: Yes.  I did make that.  And actually, it is pretty amazing.

What is just as amazing is how a tiny pinch of unadulterated appreciation changes how we feel.  Like the yeast in the bread dough, a few kind words turn a sticky lump of a day into something growing larger and lighter.  So I resolved to try and give that gift to myself and to others more often this year.  To stop and look and say, "That's amazing!  You did that!"  To be appreciative.

Be generous


We are in a slightly odd position at the moment.  We have money.  We just don't have much income.  Obviously, if we keep not having income, we will, in the end, not have money.  This is something we're doing everything we can to prevent, which includes trying not to spend too much of the money we do have, so as to have longer before we don't have it any more.

Unfortunately, this tends to result in both of us viewing the other's purchases with suspicion.  Did you really have to buy that?  Are you sure you couldn't have saved money on that?  And we both end up feeling slightly guilty, a little bit defensive, and somewhat resentful.  That's not a particularly good way to feel.  I realised, even though we're budgeting, we still need a generous mindset.  We don't want to cling on to every last penny as though it will save us.  We don't want to be constantly adding up how much you spent and I didn't spend.  So here's another gift to give this year.  To say, "I'm glad this money could buy something you need."  To be generous.

Be encouraging


"Well done, you put your own shoes on!"  "Look at that drawing you did - so colourful!"  "That's great, you got up all by yourself!"  In early life every little thing is a new achievement, and we do our best to surround our children with a blizzard of encouragement. 

As we get older the expectations kick in.  Too often we find ourselves saying, "Why didn't you do that?"  "Weren't you thinking?"  "You never remember!"  Encouragement changes to discouragement, and instead of looking for the good, we see only the ways in which people let us down.  When I realise what tiny things I praise my two-year-old for (and when he praises me back!), I start thinking that maybe some of the other people in my life could use some more positive feedback.  Toby might look at me funny if I tell him how great it is that he put his own trousers on, but he notices when I compliment him for being polite at the dinner table. 

We all like to have our efforts noticed and our failures overlooked.  And that's one more gift to give.  To say, "Well done, I saw what you did."  To be encouraging.

What gifts will you give this year?
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Drought

Two days into Stage One water restrictions, and I looked out of the window to see the guy over the road washing his car. Admittedly, the restrictions don't actually forbid you to wash your car.  They limit you to using a hand-held bucket (does it count if you put it down on the driveway?) or hand-held hose "for quick rinses".  But they are pretty much "if you don't mind" rules at this stage anyway, with holes large enough to lose whole buckets of water through (hand-held or otherwise).  For example, we are now limited to watering our lawn twice a week, but this only applies to sprinkler systems.  You can still use a hose as much as you like, presumably on the assumption that you will get bored of standing there holding it very quickly.  And besides, everything you read about good watering technique says it's better to water thoroughly just once a week.  Our garden would think Christmas had come early if it got watered every three days! So hopefully...
2 comments
Read more

Jesus came to earth... to reflect God to us

Do you remember playing with a magnifying glass on a sunny day?   That curved piece of glass you held in your hand captured the scattered rays, narrowing them down to a fluttering patch of brightness.   And all the light’s power was held in that one small circle, shrinking and shrinking… until finally you were rewarded with a sudden curl of smoke, and a neat charred hole. Imagine, then, that God, seeking to reveal himself on earth, condensed his essential being through some kind of celestial magnifying glass.   That wavering point became smaller and smaller, losing none of its power… until it became the exact size of a human baby, growing in a womb. Jesus is the image of the invisible God, says the verse in Colossians, the perfect reflection of God’s glory.   This is the first and greatest reason that Jesus came: to show us what God is really like.   Yet sometimes, reflected and refracted through 2000 years of history, the image that Jesus shows...
2 comments
Read more

Making a mess

My friend Ellie writes a blog which I now shamelessly crib ideas from, when I am stuck for something new to do with Toby.  Some time ago she wrote about a substance with the poetic moniker of cloud dough .  It sounded simple to make and fun to play with, so I tucked it away in the back of my mind. The recipe is childishly simple: 8 cups of plain flour, 1 cup of vegetable oil, and mix.  It comes out kind of sandy, although softer and more powdery. Now, Ellie has two gorgeous girls.  Her blog entries were full of photos of them adding pretty objects and creating cute little landscapes.  I, on the other hand, have a full-on hands-on get-stuck-in-as-far-as-possible boy.  This is what happens when you let him loose on a scatterable substance. We make it and it all starts well.  Notice I have prepared for mess with a large tarpaulin and lack of shorts. A few minutes in, and the mess is spreading up the T-shirt.  It's still mostly in the t...
2 comments
Read more